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body image, children, humor, parenting, postaweek2012, SAHM, self esteem, women
We’ve all done it….tried to measure up to whatever icon we believe is the epitome of spectaculosity we will NEVER achieve. And then we beat ourselves up over it. We starve ourselves, endure painful workouts, only to binge on Ben & Jerry’s ironically titled “Chocolate Therapy” ice cream.
I have been mindful of not obsessing over Victoria Beckham (hate her) in front of my step-daughters. Not once have the girls seen me reduced to a puddle of mush at the most recent photo of Taylor Swift (hate her). I vow they will never see me weep at the thought of never having the body of Eva Longoria (hate her).
[Enter stage left – Choir of Angels]
Something happened over the weekend, bless my mom’s flea market loving heart !
As a “joke”, mom purchased a life-size cut out of that famous Marilyn Monroe pose for my dad. We started talking about the fact she is a sex symbol but yet managed to maintain some kind of non-threatening, almost obtainable appeal.
excuse me while I finish off this bucket o’gelato
***Yes, I realize her hair alone must have required its own team. But to that I remind you: Giselle Bundchen. Kate Moss. The entire entourage of Victoria’s Secret models (hate, hate, and hate).
Mom’s kitschy purchase inspired some research, which lead me to a different way of thinking. Perhaps I need a better filter which to [un]fairly judge myself. Throughout Marilyn’s career, her size and weight fluctuated (imagine a world not so obsessive…..). But I came across the average range of her costumes and dresses. Comparatively speaking (she was only an inch taller than I am) I’d be a hottie in 1953.
If you put her in today’s clothing, Ms. Monroe would be about an average size 12; thank you very much !
Height: 5 feet, 5½ inches
Weight: 120-140 pounds
Bust: 35-37 inches
Waist: 22-23 inches
Hips: 35-36 inches
So, this makes me feel better for the moment. But photos of Marilyn are not going to help me combat the image issues I already am noticing in Holly and her friends. At the ripe age of 9, 3rd grade.
We grew up in the era of the Super [skinny] Models. But today ?
Behind Door Number One is this crazy mess:
…because you are NOT Katy Perry, and you do NOT need hooker boots….Never mind what a hooker is !
And Door Number Two has girls believing this is acceptable:
“Gawd, its JUST jeans and a tee shirt ! Why cant I wear it like this !!!!” Thanks, Nikki Manaj.
Depending on a tweens mood and hormone level, it’s next to impossible to be prepared for whatever fashion crisis may bestow a home on any given day. Yes, 9 year olds wear bras now…..because its cool. They even sell padded “training bras” so they can look like Ms Manaj a full decade before they need to. Who are the twisted sisters that came up with that idea ??? I’m sure it must be the same children’s clothing manufacturer that decided 3 inch heels were appropriate in size 10 – GIRLS. The shoe is not even as long as my hand.
What happened to “playing dress up” ?
Part of me would love to buy the painted-on skin tight jeans and then watch as Holly spends the rest of her day inventing excuses for not being able to sit down….
‘I have so much energy!’
‘Really, I sat just alittle while ago….’
‘I think standing helps digestion and by the way, I’m not hungry.’
….but that would be evil.
For now, we are deferring [again] to my mother’s answer: “You can buy whatever you want when you are on your own….” and hoping in the mean time Quaker makes a comeback.
Memoirs of an Evil Stepmom 
God bless Marilyn. And hooker boots. 🙂
Amen ! (notice how I am NOT telling the girls how I once dressed….)
I love this! Thursday I purchased 2 pairs of denim shorts for my Blondie. My boys were with me, and the 13 yr old said “mom, those are too short, don’t let her wear those!” When I got home, she refused to wear them, apparently, they were too LONG! Why doesn’t she just go to school in her underwear at this point??
It’s really scary what girls think they should wear…..what gets me is when Holly will be with me, pick something out, wear it once & some kid will decide its not cool enuf & suddenly she wont wear it again. UGH!
Oh I hate that! Especially when it’s something I thought was really cute!!
maybe we need to employ reverse psychology !
PS, I’ve had a thing for Marilyn since I was a little bitty girl. I have a collection of her quotes floating in my head all the time. I love the way she put things! Like “If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty… ” LOL
She is sooo quote-able ! Gentlemen Prefer Blondes is one of my favs, oh & How to Marry a Millionare !
2 great movies. What a star.
I’m going to raise my daughter in the woods. She’ll be feral, but she’ll have great body image.
You are a wise, wise man.
Two years ago we were actually looking at buying into a commune/eco-village in Ithaca NY
http://ecovillageithaca.org/evi/
I watch the girls going to school in the mornings and can’t tell if they’re going to school, a concert, or possibly a biker bar. Amazing they let them in school like that, and more amazing any of our young boys absorb any knowledge at all 🙂
I think boys are afraid (& they should be!)
& schools don’t help – I’ve heard teachers say they get so much backlash from parents if they dare try to impose rules on their precious baby its not worth it anymore. Not to mention they have biger issues to deal with !
Whoops, I think Marilyn was fabulous. Curves should be in on women, they’re the natural way of things. Some of these young stars look like you could cut glass with their clavicles.
…or like a strong wind would snap them like a twig !
Just had the pleasure of working through a book on puberty for girls. She’s 9. That brought up plenty of discussion on modesty, body image, boys and more.
Perhaps the emphasis should be on being parents, not friends. They have friends, and they’re certainly not going to tell them not to do something they want to do themselves. It is baffling to me when we became so afraid of our own children.
I know – I wish I had the nerve to approach a certain mom at school & ask her “Why do you let your daughter dress like a street-walker? I need to know!” This girls mid-section bearing wardrobe is making me look like the typical “evil stepmom” every time we go shopping…..
Marilyn, Sofia, Raquel… With some rare exceptions, the sex symbol promoters just don’t make ’em like they used to, and this is one guy who is disappointed, because I like the look of a well upholstered and curvacious woman, who also has elegance and a touch of class.
And don’t get me started on the premature sexualization of girls for corporate profit, because I’m also a dad, and the subject is enough to drive me straight into a very angry rant!
I know that rant well, Chris ! And as “susartandfood” pointed out, parents are afraid to take a stand with kids – they are the ones with the $$$ and buying the stuff instead of saying No.
What you said is the absolute truth. Easier to be friend than parent. It makes it hard on everyone.
I keep reminding myself of that….So glad I have a blog to vent !
I loved this post, but I have to admit…it fills me with a certain amount of dread. I have a soon-to-be seven year old. That’s only 2 short years away from 9 and it looks like 9 is the new 14 and I am DREADING 14 because 14 is the new 25! Do you see a running theme here? I’m so distraught that I’m rambling…I don’t want my kids to get older 😦 But I’ll be damned if I buy them heels, hooker boots, a padded bra or anything else my child shouldn’t be wearing until they’re out of my house…in which case, they can buy it themselves!!
Be afraid – be VERY afraid.
yes, in short, 9 is the new 25 – except what 9 yr olds donot realize is by 25 you have more sense !
The absolute worst part is standing in a store, in public, tryng to calmly explain to a flat chested 9 yr old why I am NOT purchasing a hot pink and black padded bra for her just because some girl at school named Mya has one. O. M. G !!!!!
I’m not too worried about my daughter. I just figure we’ll let her out of the house again once she’s thirty… In the meantime, we’ll just buy her lots of books, and only allow her to watch “Little House on the Prairie” and “Animal Planet”. 🙂
On the plus side, they took down a lot of the racy billboards that used to be along the expressways here. Of course, it had nothing to do with them being appropriate or inappropriate; they were causing car accidents!
Car accidents ? Shut up !
And I’m right there with ya ( I’ve written afew time about our plans to build a tower to banish the girls to).Oh, by the way, Little House is on the Halmark channel – we really do watch it !
Ahaha! This is absolutely wonderful. Well said.
So glad you liked it – thanks for visiting !
Brilliant post opening, young lady!
Heck, for that matter, brilliant post!
Aw, most appreciated Hook !
HIgh heels are torture for me to walk one city block in – I can’t believe they’re selling them to little girls! That should be criminal!
I agree !
Criminal / profitable…..seems theres a fine line there 🙂
Yeah I kind of like Quaker too!
It beats the 9 yr old hooker boots !
9 yr olds scare me. continue…
What scares me is I have no reason to believe its going to get better anytime soon, but that’s why I started this blog…..
I have always said that my particular brand of beauty (overweight with pasty white skin) is under appreciated in current society, but several hundred years ago, I would have been a hottie. I read somewhere that “back in the day” being overweight and having pale skin were symbols of wealth. If you were pale it meant that you didn’t work in the fields and being overweight meant that you had enough money for food. Ahhhh the good old days.
Its totally true – we would’ve had dudes lined up around the corner….You and me baby – Lets fire up the “Way Back” Machine !!!
And thanks so much for hopping around my blog 😉
Your blog is a lot of fun to hop around. Just wish I had more time to read.