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I beg to differ – there are indeed many.

As suggested by the title “Evil Stepmom” my posts are largely inspired by the lovely step-daughters inhabiting my life and heart. (My son’s mind works more like a Vulcan, imagine living with Dr. Spock.) However cute they may be, I’m afraid they are proof “blonde” is more than a hair color.

Flyers aren't called "Orange Crush" for nothin' !

 

EXHIBIT A:

While watching TV (STANLEY CUP PLAY-OFFS, BABY !!!) Nola exclaimed “Lobster Fest at Red Lobster!”

 “Yay ! Where ?” Was her sister’s reply.

Many times we think she’s trying to be funny when she does this, but if we laugh, she is clearly embarrassed. Most of her “stupid questions” are rooted in the fact she doesn’t listen or pay much attention to what is going on around her unless certain it benefits her in some way now or in the near future. She’s young, she’ll learn.

EXHIBIT B:

Years ago I worked in a bank; which seemed to be a Stupid Question Black Hole. I was chatting with a client sitting at my desk while I typed in an account application. In what I can only believe was an attempt at small talk, he asked “So how much money you keep in that vault back there?”

I also heard comments such as “What really happens if I don’t pay back the loan?”

“Yeah, there’s no money in the account! But do you expect me to not pay my bills?” So many versions of this …Mind you, I was not allowed to respond with “How is writing a bad check paying a bill?” I was expected to be reasonable, not sarcastic.

And then there was “I like your hair, is it real?”

EXHIBIT C:

I’d like to get in on this, my mind works in odd ways ( I know, shocking). If anyone could shed light on any of the following, I’d be most grateful:

I tended bar in college, and when mixing drinks wondered “What happened to the first six UP’s ?” and “Is there Soft Liquor?”

When working in retail, I questioned the “Free Gift” lure. Aren’t gifts free?

Something I have wondered since childhood and my first puppy – “Who taste-tests pet food? How do we know its improved or better?

Left-over from life in Wisconsin (no one seems to know) “How do snowplow drivers get to work?”

And the one that has plagued me as long as I remember; the answer I live in fear of: “How did we get the phrase ‘Run out of space?’ Is that possible?”

Truly, I don't want to know !

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