As Clark and I sat snuggled on the sofa eating the last of the chocolate mousse pie and feeling like successful cat burglars; we realized the joke was on us. We overheard the following from the kitchen:
“Thank you for joining us – today we are interviewing MJ, a local cook here in Connecticut. So how long have you been cooking?”
“All my life, my mom and grandma taught me everything.”
“Tell us MJ, what chef do you admire most?”
“I love to watch Julia Child or Jacques Pepin.”
“And who would you say is your favorite Food Network chef?”
“That would be Rachel Ray”
“Oh yes. Did you know she has a magazine?”
“Yes, in fact that is where I found the new recipe for cornbread. And I cant wait to try the coconut snowflake cookies !”
“Mmm. They sound wonderful.”
To our horror, this went on for several minutes more. Clark made a comment to the effect of “Now I know where to go for information on you!” And after a brief, thoughtful pause he added “Remind me not to speak in front of her [Nola] ever again!”
We had been listening to NPR’s Faith Middleton’s Food Schmooze on the way to indoor soccer that morning. Faith and her producer/sidekick Lorie clearly provide the inspiration for The Delicious Dish skit on Saturday Night Live that brought fame to such things as Alec Baldwin’s Schweddy Balls and Betty White’s Muffins. As proof, I offer one of Faith’s opening comments “Only in Las Vegas will you find Topless Pizza” to which her co-host answered “Topless, you say…..”
The girls were imitating the interview. Cute, no?
NO! Clark and I realized just how scrutinized our every move really is. I find it incredibly unsettling that they know such details of my life…. I do not remember discussing with them, or anyone else for that matter, plans to try the snowflake cookies !
I had a momentary flashback to the now infamous “Yogurt Incident”. Nola noticed her teacher snacking on yogurt, and decided to bring her up to speed on most of my eating habits, starting with my preferences of yogurt. It made for a lively first time parent-teacher meeting; which ended with the disclaimer “I always take what a student at this age says with a grain of salt and hope that parents do as well”.
Many nights have since been spent pondering what other tidbits of information have been offered under the guise of “pleasant conversation”.
I offer this as a warning to anyone who crosses paths with bright-eyed, innocent children, lest we all end up as a Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream flavor and fodder for late night comedy.