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Annie, blended family, children, everyday life, family, musicals, musings, parenting, reflections, SAHM, stepmom, stepparent
In case I’ve neglected to mention recently, I’m a huge musical geek. Although I will readily admit I am no songstress, nothing can stop me from belting out every last note from the classics (Sound Of Music, West Side Story) to the cheesy (Grease, Oklahoma) and everything in between. My teenage son learned many years ago that my turning on a musical meant for him : “2 hours to do whatever I want!”. After a typical afternoon of dusting and cleaning to 42nd Street, I would find him in the yard with the neighbor boys smiling innocently.
But the Broadway Faeries have seen fit to bless me with two little girls…. two young souls to introduce to the magical world of spontaneous, exuberant song to explain otherwise insignificant events or emotions! Annie seemed a natural choice for a first go around; and there’s a fabulous version featuring Carol Burnett and Tim Curry.
After the movie, Holly and Nola asked about one of Carol Burnett’s lines: “Why any kid would want to be an orphan is beyond me”. So I tried to briefly, and age-appropriately, explain it was meant as a joke and what an orphan was. Yes, this is the exact moment I started to second guess my choice of musical.
To my surprise, Holly asked why I haven’t formally adopted them. Again, something I should have anticipated. Nola has started to express she does not like being called my “step” daughter; one afternoon requested of me to “stop using that word”. Over the last couple years, contact with birth-mom has been minimal and only by phone. Though she has no custodial claim, she has not given up her parental rights. I tried to answer simply that I hope to but as things stand right now it’s just not legally possible.
It pained me to think it, much less say it out loud. As I fought back tears, Nola answered “That’s OK…. we’ll adopt you“.
Memoirs of an Evil Stepmom 
Touching post. I have several adopted relatives. Kids are pretty sturdy, but they want to belong to someone. What a wonderful solution Nola and Holly came up with.
If it were me, I’d have a “ceremony” and a celebration party. One of my much much older “cousins” was “taken in” by my aunt and uncle who were school teachers and realized this child was in dire straits, sleeping on the floor and the mother was unable to care for him. The mother was willing to give him up. Still he was never formally adopted – it was explained that my aunt didn’t want him to think he had been ripped from his family – and she thought it was important he keep his family name. After my aunt died, my uncle formally adopted him. He was thrilled and was tearful about it even though he was over 60. He said he always wondered why he wasn’t adopted – maybe he wasn’t good enough.
I realize your situation is different. Just wanted to let you know that you seem to be handling it very well. The girls sound charming.
Childrens ability to come up with a “happy ending” still amazes me; but I fear reality may someday start to rain on their parade. I had a friend back in high school that was resentful of being adopted….i guess there are never easy answers, so many kids out there just want to be part of a family. Thank you so much for sharing your family’s touching story!
I need to re-think reading posts like this at work….<>
Beautiful.
Thank you. Oh…and the ones that make you laugh so hard your co-workers give you “that look”….
Oh darlin’!!! That’s the sweetest thing ever said in the history of ever and ever. Annie was definitely the best choice 😉 xxxo
I know! I wish I could follow Nola around & record her, she has a way of looking at the world…..
Blending can be very challenging!! I am glad the girls have such a wonderful way of translating life’s difficulties!!
Yes, I think the word “Blending” makes it sound like “lets blend sugar and vanilla and make some frosting”. Thanks so much for stopping by my blog!
Nola is very sweet! You are a blessed (step)mom indeed but I am sure they are blessed to have you too..
I AM so blessed ! & “I’m excited” you stopped by my blog, thank you so much!!!!
You’re welcome 🙂
I hope everything works out for the best, she seems like a really sweet kid and you two would be great together.
I’m sure things will/ are working out for the best; I however am not known for my ability to “wait patiently”. Thanks for stopping by my blog; I’m looking forward to finding time to curl up and read more of yours, “minister of magic” is right p my alley!
What a lovely story to share. Very touching and honest. Thanks for stopping by my blog and for bravely writing about everything that makes up this messy thing we call life : ) Keep up the great work and I hope everything works out for you and your girls!
Thank you Brian… Hoping with some help ( & perhaps afew ideas from sites like yours) I can at least make our little corner nice & cozy. I will be checking in with you often, you’ve made fans of the girls !
We took our 13-year-old to a new local production of Annie and she loved it! She loves the movie version you mentioned, too!
Sounds like so much fun, She is at the perfect age for all that theatre stuff!
i’m so glad for you that these children “knew” how much it would mean to you to be their “mom”. beautiful. continue…
p.s. i wonder why i got no notice of this post???
Oh no, must fix this! I’m not seeing anything different on my settings ….I understand you have a life & all but your input & support would be greatly missed!
Very glad to know some people have interest to help homeless people
Nice story my friend 🙂
First, Annie is my absolute favorite movie/musical and I have watched the very same version to which you refer many times with my bonus daughters. Kindred spirits.
Second, my oldest bonus daughter began to call me “Mom” shortly after my husband and I married. This was something she just started doing and I asked her about it one day in a “I’m so honored and I have no problem with you calling me Mom. I just don’t want to hurt your Mom’s feelings or for you to feel you need to call me Mom – I’m fine with Charlene” way. She replied, “I want to call you Mom, I know my Mom won’t care, and it’s easier than explaining my personal business to kids I don’t want to share my personal business with.” Well, she was right. Her Mom is fine with it and respects me as a “Mom” in her daughter’s life. I think I feel more odd about it than her own Mom does. This would never fly and is not encouraged with our youngest, as the youngest’s bio mom is way too insecure and territorial (and, not to mention, a little BPD, IMO).
Last, I agree with philosophermouseofthehedge – they would probably love a celebration or ceremony whereby they get to “adopt” you 🙂 How beautiful!
We have been kicking around the idea of “informally formalizing” things; I really appreciate your take on it (being in the same boat and all!). I am more worried about creating problems, their bio -mom can be so hard to predict and when she catches wind of something she doesnt like, its miserable for the girls (someday we’ll have the guts to just hang up on her!).I’m working on more posts re: her, but I have to be in a really bitchy mood to even go there! MJ started out as “Miss Janet” and later they decided it meant “Mom Janet” and I think its cute!